These trees line my street. I'm not sure what kind of trees they are, and I won't even guess. What I can tell you is that, at some point, the tops of the trees all died and had to be cut down, and at some other point another type of tree was grafted onto their trunks.
I find this incredibly fascinating. I see examples of the cycle of death and rebirth often in nature. I love seeing nurse logs in the forest - they're trees that have died or been cut down and a new tree is growing out of the stump. The death of one tree nurtures the life of another. It's quite spectacular, really.
I also see this theme play out in my own life, and in the lives of those around me, in various ways.
19 years ago today, my mom died. This time of year is always a little challenging for me because of it, and also I think because of the nature of the beginning of a "new year". Generally, It's dark. The holidays have come and gone. It's back to reality, except now there are all of these new expectations and "resolutions" we place on ourselves, not to mention the visa bills that start rolling in from the December splurges (oops). It's enough to make anyone want to crawl back into bed!
But today was a beautiful day here, and I made the most of it by spending some quality time with myself, doing some research on pregnancy and childbirth, as well as going for a beautiful walk in the sun with my camera. It was healing and restorative and brought me a lot of joy, and I sincerely encourage everyone to resolve to love themselves enough this year to take time for themselves.
I feel lucky to have known my mom for 14 years. I feel like we chose each other for a reason. I have learned so much about myself and life in general from her life and death, and for that I am truly grateful. Knowing her has nurtured and challenged me in countless ways. I only hope that I can be half the parent she was.
I wish that those of you who are struggling, or have struggled, with loss and rebirth find comfort and healing on your journey, and somehow manage to find the kernel of goodness that lies inside the pain. There are gifts there for you. Sometimes, it just takes a while to find them.